he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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