I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
