i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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