All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
