On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
