just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize