is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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