And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
