I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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