D3 body, D1 cock
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
