I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
