so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
