Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
