If i could tip my vagina, i would.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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