everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
