I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
