He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
