Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
