yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
