so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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