yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize