Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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