So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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