Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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