Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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