The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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