you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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