I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
