she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize