Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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