Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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