all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize