If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
