Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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