nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
