Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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