I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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