Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Someone signed my nipple.
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