If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
