Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
