Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
