oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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