I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
