So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think your dad took our porno
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
