Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
