In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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