I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
