At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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