Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
