I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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