WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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