Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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