somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
whose ass print is on the piano?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
