So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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