omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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