If i come over, it means nothing
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
