butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
