I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
