I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
