dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
