My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
