wrigley field is MILF paradise
She said her name was "party"
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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