im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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