Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Randomize
