Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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