I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
