OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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