Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
