hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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