ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
