You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
