So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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