I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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