Porn is love you can see.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
