"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize