You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
