I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
